Yes, yes, he’s incapable of getting his gym clothes to the washing machine, and it drives you up a wall. So, no judgement if you picked (another) fight about it. But if arguing feels more normal than getting along, and what was once just a rough patch is now the reality of your union, then you could be headed toward a loveless marriage, and that ain’t good. So what’s a girl to do? Grab your man and head to — wait for it — couples therapy.Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships
Now, just because movies and TV shows poke fun at therapy (come on, everyone has seen what Matthew McConaughey’s character goes through in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take it into serious consideration.
“It gives each partner a safe, unbiased, clean-slate space to communicate, wrestle with and work out differences when all personal attempts have failed,” says Fran Walfish, psychotherapist, author and current expert panelist on WEtv’s $ex Box.Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships
An open dialogue with a trained expert will not only help you better communicate with your hubby, but it could also put away problems you’ve always had, once and for all. At the very least, Walfish says it can teach you how to effectively respond to issues when they come up, rather than blowing a fuse and potentially making things worse. Because let’s get real here: Doing the same thing (think having those heated fights seemingly every weekend) over and over again isn’t quite the definition of marital sanity. Plus, if you and your man constantly criticize, shame or blame one another, not only will your self-confidence falter, but neither of you will ever feel like you’re being heard. That’s a dark road to travel, and one that can cause some serious heartbreak or possibly even — gulp — divorce.Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships
But how do you know if you’ve reached the point where you need assistance? Straight from the horse’s, er, therapists’ mouth, here are all the signs that it’s time to sign-up for a session — now.
1. You’re still arguing about who loads the dishwasher the right way.
Sharing your home with someone else is bound to lead to differences and frustrations. But if you’re bitching about the same thing repeatedly — you know, about how he can’t (for the life of him!) turn the cookie sheet the right way in the damn dishwasher — you might need to find a better way to express yourself.
“Often when a couple has an argument that never gets resolved, they aren’t talking to each other in the right way,” says Walfish. “They’re screaming, yelling, and attacking, then going silent because they don’t feel heard.”